“This is what I saw at Goatse.cx: a picture of a skinny naked man with his back to the camera, bent over at a 45 degree angle. He’s reaching back with both hands, four-fingers deep, stretching his asshole to the diameter of a cantaloupe. It’s a flash photo taken very close and the man’s gaping ass is lit a queasy red against a nondescript dark room, everything else dangling where it should be. The photo is cropped at the man’s neck; the one tantalizing clue to his identity, besides his obvious talent, is what appears to be a gold wedding band on his left hand.”
Taking up arms against the singularity.